


hard to write, hard to say

by blue_spectrum



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, KagaKuro Exchange, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-01 09:26:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11483487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_spectrum/pseuds/blue_spectrum
Summary: Kuroko and Kagami grew up together and then had to part when Kagami left for the States. While apart, they talked about almost everything… except about their feelings for each other.





	hard to write, hard to say

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Kagakuro Exchange 2017. This is for lantana723 @tumblr! I did my best with their prompt Childhood friends AU and there’s a beach date in theory? I really hope you like this!

“Arghhhh”

Kagami suddenly complained, his voice loud in the otherwise quiet apartment. He sat heavily on the couch, throwing his head back and then stretching limb after limb until his joints turned into a symphony of cracking noises, which was certainly unnerving and inconvenient for Kuroko’s reading.

“Kagami-kun” he called, letting some annoyance drip into his tone, “if you’re bored, there’re still some boxes that need unpacking”

“Ugh”

Kagami groaned, his head lolling away from his friend. They were comfortably sharing the couch, legs pressed together, basking in the knowledge that tomorrow they would both still be in Japan, enjoying their days, meals and for the first time, basketball.

The redhead had settled back in Japan not long ago, finally putting an end to their time apart.  Kuroko smiled softly behind his book; he still remembered clearly the day a tiny Kagami had run to his house in a panic, a sweating and mumbling mess that had needed long minutes to catch his breath until he could properly say that his father and him would leave the country, and what would happen with the afternoons spent at the Kuroko household? How would they play together with Kuroko’s fluffy cat? Could they still watch their favorite show together? Go to the beach, have watermelon, play in the snow?

Kuroko’s thoughts were interrupted by Kagami’s head falling on his shoulder, his hair tickling his ear. He was looking down at Kuroko’s book, brows furrowed and suspicion in his eyes, as if the lines of kanji were purposefully trying to be confusing.

“Kagami-kun”

“Yeah?”

“Should we start studying all the kanji you’ve missed while being away?”

Kuroko pushed, not for the first time, only getting a louder groan as an answer. Kagami closed his eyes briefly, but when he opened them he was still looking down at the book, giving Kuroko some blissful minutes to continue reading his novel… only now his friend’s round face of their childhood wouldn’t leave his mind, nor his big, scared eyes when Kuroko had told him that of course he’d write, even if he had read a story where letters took an eternity to travel.

_“How long?!”_

_“They can take weeks, Kagami-kun”, he said with the heavy heart of a child who considered two hours to be too long to wait for his favorite show._

_“I can’t wait that long!”_

_“People waited years before”_

_“Can_ you _wait that long, Kuroko?”, he asked, brows furrowed and watery eyes._

_They turned their bright eyes towards Kuroko’s mom as she arrived with two glasses of juice, smiling fondly at her son and the boy she’d come to love almost as if he was her own._

_“You’re a bit young for a computer, but maybe mama can help you email Kagami-kun?”_

And that was exactly what they had done for years, at first with their parents’ help and then by themselves, sharing stories and details of their everyday life in simple Japanese, English and something in between. As the years passed, Kuroko had tried to introduce Kagami, very gently, to new and more advanced kanji, but all his efforts and goodwill weren’t enough to replace formal classes and proper reading. And that was without considering the few months with scarce correspondence of the previous year…

Kuroko sighed, looking down at his friend to find him staring up at him, his nose just shy of touching Kuroko’s jaw. They stared at each other in silence, calmly searching for any sign that would tell them where to go next.

“Kagami-kun” Kuroko started, the movement of his jaw making it bump softly against Kagami’s nose.

“No”, he answered to the unspoken question; he knew Kuroko, he didn’t need him to tell him what he was thinking. “I’m a foreigner, I don’t need to know kanji”, he muttered, hiding his pout in Kuroko’s neck.

“You’re not and you do” he breathed, “also, that tickles”

“Yeah”

Kagami was obviously smirking, the tilt of his lips brushing against Kuroko’s skin and he was about to tell him to stop and put his book between them when Kagami started rubbing his hair against his neck, making him gasp. Kuroko was debating on what to do, first putting his book away so it could be safe from… whatever it was they were doing. He could feel Kagami nuzzling his throat, body shifting until his hands fell on each side of Kuroko’s chest, hands coming up to his armpits to attack him without mercy.

“Kagami-kun!”

Kuroko tried pushing him away, grabbing his shoulders while his voice fell freely from his lips, but Kagami still weighed more than him and he was definitely taller too. They were laughing, squirming in each other’s arms as Kuroko’s back hit the couch and he finally had the balance to sneak a knee towards his chest and push, not that it did much more than tangle their limbs into an even greater mess. Kagami changed his focus, dragging his hands down until he could lift Kuroko’s shirt and tickle his sides, deft fingers dancing over his skin until tears pooled at the corners of his eyes.

“Stop!”, Kuroko finally managed to get out between guffaws, immediately forcing his lips closed when Kagami shifted over him, his lips dragging from his ear to his chin.

They both stilled, their heartbeats louder than their panting in the silent living room.

Kuroko could hear Kagami swallow, feel his chest heaving against his stomach, muscles tense with the effort of keeping their position. His hands were firm on Kagami’s shoulders, and they followed him when he moved away, looming over him.

“We should…” Kagami whispered in a tone that Kuroko had never heard before, swallowing again when his eyes deviated to the other’s mouth before quickly going back up: “go to the beach!”

Kuroko blinked, confused by the shift in tone, volume and topic. That didn’t make any sense.

“I don’t know how looking at Kagami-kun without a shirt will help”, he said before he could think about it, surprised by his own voice.

“What?”

Now it was Kagami’s turn to look confused, and when he leaned back even further away, Kuroko noticed that he was settled between his legs, arms framing his head. His throat suddenly felt dry, his palms sweating over the fabric covering Kagami’s shoulders.

“I… didn’t mean to say that”, Kuroko confessed, eyes huge with puzzlement over his words and disoriented by the tingling sensation pooling low in his stomach.

After a few more seconds, Kagami nodded to himself once, apparently reaching a conclusion.

“Ok”

Was all the warning Kuroko had before the redhead sat back on his heels and dragged his shirt over his head, dropping it heedlessly on the floor.

 

* * *

 

Kagami remembered being ten years old, often having his meals alone at home and learning to cook for himself, forever adjusting to his life in the States without realizing that he needed to get used to _people_ in general first. He’d get up, go to school, play street basketball for as long as he could, grab a burger with Tatsuya and head back home to do some chores, bathe and sleep.

On occasion, he’d be asked to help their neighbors’ daughter to carry some grocery bags. He didn’t mind carrying the bags, but he wasn’t so sure of how to behave when they invited him in for a glass of juice or something sweet as a thank you. Kagami knew enough to accept, he had talked about it with Kuroko in one of their emails, but what should he say, where should he look, couldn’t he just stay silent?

And when one day the girl had kissed his cheek and tried to hold his hand, he had been completely lost, stuttering over his words and making a hasty retreat to his apartment. He still felt uncomfortable later, sitting in front of his dad’s old computer, fingers hesitating over the keyboard. He wanted to talk to Kuroko about how weird it had been, how weird it had felt, but for some reason his stomach clenched at the thought, just like it did when they were little and Kagami would purposefully distract Kuroko from doing their homework.

In the end, he didn’t tell Kuroko about the incident and, luckily, they moved out soon to a bigger apartment that was closer to his basketball court.

He remembered being thirteen and seeing how all his classmates had a girl they refused to talk to even if they were around them as much as possible. He remembered Tatsuya going on dates sometimes, with girls and boys and some people that didn’t fall into either category. Kagami was still awkward when talking to people, but at least now he could hide it behind a mask of hostility that kept most of them away.

He didn’t mind. He had Tatsuya and Alex and he could play basketball and email Kuroko whenever he wanted.

Then Alex had happened and Kagami should have known that having another Alex in his life wasn’t a good idea, but the boy was a good player and they could talk about things and Kuroko kept telling him to try and make more friends or be at least more approachable. They used to hang out between matches, share some snacks, comment on the best players of the season… He was nice and it was mostly simple, even if Kagami felt weird when he couldn’t help but stare at his blue eyes.

He remembered being fourteen…

_“Hey Taiga”, Alex called in his cheerful voice, running up to him with a towel around his shoulders._

_Kagami was packing up for the day, the other Alex fooling around with some older guys that had come to claim the court for the night. He looked up, distracted for a second by a drop hanging from the boy’s right eyelashes. Alex smirked knowingly and once the redhead noticed, he quickly looked back down to his bag to try and hide his blush._

_“Do you want to go somewhere after this?”_

_Kagami blinked._

_“Somewhere?”_

_“You like burgers, right?”_

_Well… he did like burgers._

_“Ok”_

He hadn’t told Kuroko about the date, or about the one that followed or the one after that. He stopped mentioning Alex, never bringing up the few times they held hands or kissed before Kagami had woken so many nights with Kuroko’s name on his lips that he couldn’t pretend he didn’t know what was happening.

He remembered last year, wishing to simply stand next to Kuroko and tell him all the things that were too hard to write, from his crumbling relationship with Tatsuya to his feelings for him, how worried he was about those Teiko guys, how much he missed him…

And now he remembered how his heart had skipped a beat when they reunited at the airport, when he had to run to squeeze Kuroko in his arms and ruffle his hair again after so many years. He remembers talking like crazy about basketball, about food, about the players, even about the sitcoms he had watched, sure that Kuroko would soon get tired of him like everyone did and dismiss him for good. But of course he hadn’t. He had listened carefully with a soft smile on his lips that turned troubled when they unavoidably approached the topic of Tatsuya or the Miracles.

Now he remembered all the aborted actions over the weeks he’d been in Japan: a lingering touch, his hand twitching to curl on Kuroko’s shoulder, his dry lips forming words that he didn’t daresay out loud.

All of this was in his mind when he took off his shirt and looked at Kuroko, splayed on his couch as if it was the most natural thing in the world, as if they hadn’t spent long years apart.

“Does this help?” he asked in that weird, hoarse tone of voice.

Kuroko didn’t answer. He kept his eyes firmly trained on his friend’s face, a slight crease appearing between his eyebrows… before he swallowed and Kagami mirrored the gesture, looking carefully down and across Taiga’s shoulders, skipping quickly over his chest and stomach.

Kagami felt in his gut when their eyes met again, breath knocked out from his lungs when Kuroko’s deep gaze refused to leave his. The silence stretched between them, easy and comfortable despite the uncertainty still hanging in the air. Then Kuroko looked at him with the same soft, gentle expression he had worn since Kagami had been back. And really, he should have known, maybe he did, because there was no mistaking the loving smile on both of their faces.

So, when their lips met, it was natural for Kuroko to loop his arms around Kagami’s shoulders and accept a second kiss, initiate a third and laugh into a fourth. Taiga could feel his blush deepen as he became more and more aware of the heat between their bodies, of Kuroko’s hand on the nape of his neck playing with the short hairs there, of Kuroko’s hip against his wrist, of his chapped lips becoming increasingly wet as their kisses grew firmer and more confident.

They broke apart slowly, matching red painting their cheeks and the same gleam bright in their eyes.

“I miss the beach”, Kagami whispered.

“Let’s go tomorrow”

Kuroko smiled, kissing his cheek because he could. Kagami couldn’t shake his blush away, and it wasn’t like he minded, really, he had never liked hiding things from Kuroko and he was glad he didn’t have to anymore, but he tried just on principle. Then he shifted until he was on his side to ease the pressure in his arms, head pillowed on the other’s chest.

He thought for a second about how he had been about to buy a different couch, wonderfully red but much smaller, and was glad that he had gone with Kuroko, the boy suggesting one that was bigger, fluffier, perfect for two people to stretch on comfortably. Maybe Kuroko had hoped to cuddle? Maybe he wanted to or knew they would? Was that presumptuous of him? Was that how you used that word? Would his face combust if he asked any of this?

He squirmed a bit in embarrassment, almost jumping out of his skin when Kuroko said, sounding way too smug for his deadpan tone:

“We’ll study on the train”

Again, the only answer was a booming groan.


End file.
